Today,
April 2, 2012, marks the fifth annual World Autism Awareness Day[1].
Every year, autism organizations around the world celebrate by doing unique
fundraisers and special events to raise awareness about autism. It’s no coincidence that the day of my final post
was planned for this day – the most significant day for autism awareness. Tonight, I’m proud that many iconic landmarks
around the globe will “Light it Up Blue” to show their support of a cause so
near and dear to my heart and to millions of others too. These are just a few of the structures participating
in “Light it Up Blue” tonight (for a comprehensive photo gallery, please visit www.LightItUpBlue.org).
 |
| Christ the Redeemer - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil |
 |
| Sydney Opera House - Sydney, Australia |
 |
| Empire State Building - New York, NY |
My Jacob Baby
“To the world you may be but one, but to one you
might be the world.” Unknown.
I’ve
spent the last 6 weeks of this blog describing our situation, members of our
family, our friends, and the array of emotions that we have experienced on our
journey. However, at the center of it all
is one incredible kid. Jacob is smart, sweet, gentle, funny, and an all-around
amazing little boy. He is a boy worth fighting for, a boy worth celebrating,
and a boy who deserves an infinite amount of love. He is definitely easy to
love! Jacob is not a boy defined by autism, but trapped deep inside it. We’ve utilized our energy and resources to chip
away at the autism that imprisons him, and we will continue to work hard at
making progress. We will also pray that a
cure will blow the doors right off, and for the first time, Jacob will no
longer be stifled and we will be able to embrace all aspects of our son. Until
then…we will charge on. We’ve definitely
come a long way in our journey, but it’s certainly not over. Please continue to pray for Jacob, our family,
and the researchers to pinpoint a cause and a cure for autism.
I’ve written
a letter to Jacob, and wanted to share it with you today. Every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle,
cousin, friend and neighbor who loves a child unconditionally will surely
relate.
Dear
Jacob baby,
Mommy
loves you so much! I am typing these
words with a smile on my face because you bring me such tremendous joy, and I
am so very proud of you!
I write
this letter to you knowing that you don’t know what these words mean. I pray
that one day you will, and I type it in faith for when that glorious time comes.
Until then, I can assure you that you don’t need to comprehend the words themselves;
you only need to feel the depth and breadth of Mommy’s unconditional love for you.
I vow to work hard each and every day to ensure that you are safe, happy,
healthy, supported, educated, loved, comforted and cared for to achieve your
greatest potential.
I
know you’ve seen Mommy write in her journal all of these years. So, before I started writing this blog, I
skimmed through my journals to see what I may have said along the way, and I came
across this prayer.
Sunday,
November 2, 2008
Dear God,
Please be
with Jacob. Please watch over him. Please help us find a doctor or doctors that
will provide answers to the many many questions we have about what’s happening
in his little body. Please continue to
bless him with happiness. Please
continue to give Dave and I the strength to navigate this dark road. It is my faith in you that gets me
through. I love you and thank you for
the many blessings you have given us.
Amen.
Mommy
can tell you that there are many others praying a similar prayer for you, and
even though I prayed for these things several years ago, the request has not changed. You are so very loved, Jacob.
And
like I said before, the words don’t make sense now, but the actions, and the
feelings and the happiness is how you’ll know in your heart that Mommy loves
you. Here are just a few examples:
·
When I put
vanilla icing on graham crackers because it’s your favorite snack. That is me
loving you.
·
Every single morning
on our way to school when I slip my arm into the backseat and take hold of your
soft little hand and hold it tight. That’s
me loving you.
·
When I drop
you off at school and insist that I kiss you before you bounce up the stairs and
disappear for the day, that’s it too.
·
When we burst
with laughter after I tickle you like crazy after chasing you through the
house. That’s me loving you.
·
As you stand
at the center of the bridge down by the park and I hand you several sticks that
I’ve gathered along the way knowing that you want to throw them over the edge and
watch the water splash….that’s me loving you.
·
When I stand
on the side of the tub and yell “Waterfall!!” before dumping a cup full of
water on your giggly self, that’s me loving you.
·
At nighttime
when I lay next to Audrey and we hold hands with our eyes shut praying for
you. That’s it again.
·
And, believe
it or not when I enroll you into a school, sign you up for therapy, or take you
to see a new doctor (again), that’s me loving you. It’s actually me loving the future I know you
deserve to have.
You
will know it in the strength of my grip when I sense you are confused, scared
or overwhelmed. You will know it in the
tone of my concern. You will see it
dance across my face when we play. You
will sense it in my actions. And again, and again, and again, all day long and
into eternity it will never ever stop.
I
honestly don’t know if you’ll ever have freedom from autism here on Earth, but I
know that you will have complete freedom in Heaven. Thank you for contributing,
to me, the greatest gift any human being can provide by leading me back into
the arms of Jesus. I can’t wait to walk
hand in hand with you and just….talk.
I am
grateful for you. I am proud of you. I
love you so much my sweet Jacob.
Mommy
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
[1] Source: Autism Speaks - Autism is a general term used to describe a
group of complex developmental brain disorders – autism spectrum disorders,
caused by a combination of genes and environmental influences. These disorders are characterized, in varying
degrees, by social and behavioral challenges, as well as repetitive behaviors.
An estimated 1 in 88 children in the U.S. is on the autism spectrum – a 1000
percent increase in the past 40 years that is only partly explained by improved
diagnosis.
